Being Jewish abroad: Steps I've taken to reclaim my Jewish identity in Germany

I'll be honest: before I came to Germany, I was not being a very good member of the Jewish community in the US. The last time I had gone to temple was probably when I went to Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur services last YEAR (possibly a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in between but honestly I don't recall), and I really hadn't connected with anyone Jewish in Seattle. I had started to be involved with Hillel at PSU, but not on a regular basis. My college life in the US had become so self-involved and based on work/friends/partying, and all of my friends in Seattle were so anti-religion, that I never really thought about going to temple.

Being Jewish had always been a part of my life. My Chinese friends, who had never met anyone Jewish before to their knowledge, asked me a lot of questions about Judaism that I was more than happy to ask. Same thing with a couple of the Norwegians that I became friends with in Munich. I'm always happy to answer questions about Judaism because I feel as though I have a wealth of knowledge on the subject. I was most definitely raised Jewish, we lit the Shabbat candles in my home and went to temple frequently when I was growing up. I was Bat Mitzvahed and I can still read Hebrew and still remember all of the prayers.

So I'm always asking myself whether or not I am a GOOD Jew. I don't go to temple every week. I have a nose piercing, and I'd like to get a tattoo someday (sorry Mom). I don't keep kosher, I am not incredibly involved in Hillel on campus at UW... but honestly, Judaism is one of my strongest identifiers. I feel as though by informing others about Judaism when they are curious along with the fact that I still do, and always will, identify as a Jew makes me a good Jew. Because honestly, who is to say what a good Jew is? I think it's really self-determinable, and important to sort of do a self examination on things such as that.

When I first decided to study abroad in Germany, my Mom was less than pleased. I think that for a lot of people in my parents and grandparent's generation it is still difficult to separate Germans from Nazis. I have always thought that as Jews we really need to be more tolerant of people who are trying to be more tolerant of others. Germans have come a long, long way since WWII. There are actually more Neo-Nazis in Idaho than there are in Berlin, and I definitely feel that with people's level of knowledge on Judaism here vs. at home. My German friends all know what Judaism is, and are familiar with the laws and practices. Whereas even a lot of my American friends don't know that no, I actually can't eat anything on Yom Kippur and no, I can't eat bread during Passover and yes, I am going to temple and still do believe in G-d.

Because of this, I've really felt the need to reclaim my Jewish identity whilst I've been in Berlin. A lot of the other people on the program have asked me multiple questions about being Jewish and Judaism and I don't mind answering at all. When one boy in the program told me that "Judaism IS a race" and I actually "don't know what I'm talking about" I was so offended that I couldn't even continue the argument. Another girl came over later and asked me if I was okay, and if I could please explain to her why I felt that Judaism wasn't a race. I was happy to do so.

Last Friday I went to services at the Neue Synagogue in Berlin. I was full of emotion the entire night. How could you not be, going into a place like this:





It was positively gorgeous. I remembered all of the prayers, and I felt great being in a place surrounded by other Jewish people, even if I didn't know them. I thanked the Rabbi afterwards, and intend to go back as soon as I have a Friday night or Saturday morning free again. This is the first of many steps to reclaiming my Jewish identity in Berlin. My thesis, as it stands, will include two components: a documentary-style film interviewing myself and others regarding their Jewish identity in Berlin, as well as a paper on the subject of reclaiming my own Jewish identity in Berlin and back in the US. The work will be in progress even at the end of the term now since it will involve being back in the US afterwards.

I also want to include a dance component in my films, since I have reclaimed my "dancer" identity while I've been here as well. I want to talk to a person at the Topography of Terrors and see if it'd be okay if I did a dance piece there. It would be an example of reclaiming that space for me and my identity as well as Jews everywhere. I do only have four weeks to get this all done though, which is tough, and I'll be traveling for a lot of it, but I feel like I can do it. phew.