This past weekend, I visited an old friend of mine in Rome. More to come about that later. But as she was showing me around the streets and sights of her new home, I couldn't help but think about my old home back in Berlin. I kept comparing the things she'd tell me about Italians to the things I've experienced about Germans, comparing food, sights, language, etc. It made me realize that I'm actually starting to like Berlin. A lot.
And then, as I was walking to Pfeiffers this morning, passing down Oranienstraße for the first time during the light of day, I realized that I am really, really going to miss it here. The cute little shops lining Kreuzberg, SO36 looming out of the tiny Imbiss places, the pretty Turkish girls who travel around in a gaggle giggling all the time, the little kids with the bikes without the pedals who basically walk them on the ground, the cute families and couples running errands or out for a stroll speaking in rapid-fire German that I could only understand if I listened really, really hard.... Berlin has become a home to me. And it's strange, and it's only happened NOW, with two weeks left in the program.
Berlin has become so much of a home that I last-minute cancelled my trip to Madrid, a place I was really looking forward to going, in order to be able to spend more time in Berlin. Berlin has become so much of a home that I don't really know how I feel about moving back to Seattle, or really anywhere else at all (except maybe Munich). I feel like in Seattle I was always waiting for something exciting to happen to me, something that would change my life. Well, it's happened. Here I am, in Germany, a country I never really lusted after like I once did France or Greece or Spain, living the BEST life I've had in a while and really really loving it. What am I supposed to do now?
I don't want to go home. Home isn't really even a home for me anymore, just a stamp in a passport and a number assigned to me by a big anonymous government. Even here, with the brushes I've had with bureaucracy , I've never felt completely anonymous. The woman who helped me get my visa (OMG that's another story for another time) was so nice, always calling me by my name and being cooperative with my really bad German. I can't help but feel as if someone came into a DMV in the US and spoke English that was like my German, they would get laughed out of the place. It's just nice here, knowing that people appreciate it when you just try... definitely not like the US.
The good news is: Berlin, and the rest of Germany, will always be here. Always. I will always have the option to come back, and as soon as I want to/can. I've been looking into au pairing as well as applying for a Fulbright scholarship, so there are options. I will be okay. But for the next eight months that I am FORCED to live in Seattle (who needs a college degree anyways, huh?) I will continuously be missing my newfound home and looking forward to the day when I can return.
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